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Milngavie 2020

Games Of The XXXII Olympiad



     In the summer of 2020, the 32nd Summer Olympics will commence. Many different countries have considered making a bid for the 2020 Olympic Games, including China, South Africa, Denmark, Portugal, Australia, France and Switzerland, Hungary, South Korea, India, Czech Repulic, Malaysia, Philippines and America. After a little consideration I finally came up with the perfect place to hold the Olympic Games, my home town Milngavie.

     Milngavie (Nilogatie in predictive text) is worth 15 points in Scrabble, maybe not as impressive as the 122 points for Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantyssiliogogogoch, excluding double/triple word/letter squares (and the fact a game of Scrabble wouldn't have enough letters Gs, Ls, Ws or Ys, and that a Scrabble board is only 15 squares long).

     The average age of a Milngavier is probably around retirement age. The "small world phenomenon" states that any two people in the world can be linked by six degrees of separation, Marc's Theorum 2.4 proves that everyone in Milngavie is linked to any other Milngavier by only two degrees of separation. There are two main weather types in Milngavie - rain, and about to rain. Milngavie is a suburb of Glasgow, in Scotland, the only country in the world where the top selling soft drink is not a type of cola (it's Irn Bru), and the only country in the world where grammatically a double positive makes a negative (aye right).

     Now I had to find out just how to submit an official olympic bid, with photographing assistance from my left hand man (left handed right hand man) Terence. This would take 15 simple steps :

Step 01 - Looking back into the history of Milngavie

Step 02 - Making a logo

Step 03 - Creating a mascot

Step 04 - Meeting the requirements

Step 05 - Finding an area suitable to be an olympic village

Step 06 - Showing the transport is good enough

Step 07 - Finding suitable accommodation

Step 08 - Proving the safety and security would be fine

Step 09 - Discovering Milngavie's experience of previous sports events

Step 10 - Looking at the general infrastructure

Step 11 - Showing the local environment

Step 12 - Finding suitable venues for the events

Step 13 - Counting up the finances

Step 14 - An overview of the project so far

Step 15 - Proving local support for the bid

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Dedicated to Sandy Moir